They may live 100 miles apart but Karen Kinsella and Rebecca Hadman, have come together to launch “Room to Grieve” – a podcast about life after the devastating loss of their youngest children last year.
Karen, of Hyde and Rebecca from Peterborough, met online and quickly bonded over their shared experiences and struggles as both their children battled brain cancer.
The mums describe ‘Room to Grieve’ as a blend of tears and laughter as they share their experiences and explore the reality of grief, along with a mixture of special guests.
Karen’s daughter, Emily, was first diagnosed with a brain tumour in 2021. During her final weeks she was cared for by staff from Derian House Children’s Hospice, based in Chorley. Emily passed away in June 2023, aged 16.
Heartbreaking
Karen (pictured left) said: “Nobody can prepare you when your child is going to die. It’s heartbreaking. As a mum, you should be able to make them better; you should be able to fix them. And I couldn’t fix my girl.
“Eventually, we want grief education to be on the curriculum. We want everyone – no matter what age, to learn more about it. People often don’t know what to do or say to someone who is grieving. It is an important learning that is missing. At the end of the day, each and every one of us will experience grief in our lifetime.
“The podcast also helps us to keep our kids in our lives. Emily and Bradley will always be in our lives. There’s nothing more that parents want to do than talk about their children.”
Rebecca’s son Bradley (18) died just three weeks before Emily, following a year-long battle with a brain tumour.
“There isn’t enough education on grief – I don’t think we talk about it enough,” said Rebecca. (pictured right)
Final days
Bradley spent his final days in his local adult’s hospice after a crisis intervention by Derian House, as he was too ill to visit the children’s hospice almost 200 miles away in Chorley.
“There aren’t any children’s hospices around here. I knew Bradley was going to die, and if it wasn’t for Derian House we wouldn’t have got him the care he needed,” continued Rebecca.
“A week after Bradley died, I did feel devastated, but I also found myself laughing and joking. It felt wrong, all wrong. Grief was not what I expected it to be. I felt like I was having to manage the things I was doing or saying. I didn’t want people to think I was doing ok when I was just coping. We were told how we were going to feel most of the time, so that when you didn’t feel that way it felt wrong.
“We want the podcast to showcase the reality of grief. We want to be real, not tell people how they should feel. And there is no topic off bounds. Personally, I’d like to explore the neuroscience behind it and how grief impacts your body physically. I’d like to explore grief in different cultures where death is dealt with in a much different way.”
Room to Grieve is free to listen to and can be found on Spotify, YouTube, and audible.
Lucy Maxwell, family support worker at Derian House, said: “Room to Grieve is raw, authentic, and brave – it showcases the reality of grief for two mums who both lost their children only a year ago.
“Rebecca and Karen’s honest conversations will not only provide comfort to other bereaved parents but also educate others about the profound and often unspoken aspects of grief.”
Derian House, based in Astley Village, Chorley, cares for more than 400 babies, children, young people and their families from across the North West and is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
